Winning the Battle

It's Wednesday morning & we're winning the battle!!! Satan has tried some of his best moves to rob our joy, but it's not working!!

Jason has been MIA all week due to a 10-page paper that he has to turn in tomorrow, so I've been getting a crash course in Single Parenting 101.

The girls have been battling a stomach virus that has left Peyton's behind looking rather war-torn & Mommy feeling more like a nurse with each passing hour.

Not to mention that this weekend we turn the clocks back one hour. Have you ever tried to add an hour of sleep into a toddler's day?? Not an easy task. So I've been pushing bedtime back 10 minutes every day in preparation for Saturday (in the hopes that Jason & I will be able to get some much-needed rest). However, that precious 10 minutes does not seem to be translating into morning wake-up time :(

But that's okay! I came across a verse this morning in my devotions & personalized it to fit my particular circumstance.

"The LORD will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched (sleep-deprived) land & will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden (well-rested Mommy), like a spring whose waters never fail (a woman whose Savior never sleeps)."

Life's still good :)

Lessons from VeggieTales

So there I was on Saturday night, driving home from the Ladies Banquet in my mini-van with my 2 toddlers in the back.

{Let me interject here that some of the ladies in our church are participating in a Bible study called "40 Days of Community." As one of their projects, they decided to reach out to a family in our church that was in need. And who do you think that lucky family was?? Needless to say, it was mine. These ladies graciously put together an absolutely AMAZING care package for the 4 of us. And among all the incredible gifts was the VeggieTale "Gideon" video ~ a new family favorite.}

Back to Saturday night . . . the girls were in the back of the van watching "Gideon" on the DVD & I was driving, mulling over all sorts of life stuff. I wasn't feeling downcast per se, but seminary life is a challege ~ the house is unsold, Jason's time is very limited, my devotions are giving me more to chew on then ever before ~ my mind was full. As I sat in my own little world, something (or Someone) brought my attention to the video (now mind you, every time we are in the van, the girls are watching some sort of video & thus, I have gotten very good at tuning it out). What I heard was a very touching conversation between Pa Grape (dressed like an angel) and Larry the Cucumber (dressed as Gideon). It is right before Gideon is to face the Midianites in battle & the angel comes to offer some encouragement. The conversation goes something like this (& forgive me, all you VeggieTale die-hards, if I don't have it 100% correct . . . I'm doing this from memory):

Gideon: Do you ever have trouble trusting God?

Angel: Me? No. I see Him everyday. I know how glorious He is. I know He never breaks His promise. I also know how much He loves you ~ He told me.

The conversation goes on & the angel adds:

"It's easy for an angel to trust God. But you have faith in something you've never even seen. I admire that."

And then the angel ends the conversation with:

"Trust Him, Gideon. He'll never let you down."

I'm telling you, Pa Grape might as well have been talking to me! My heart was so encouraged. It still makes me giggle a little.

I guess adults can learn from talking vegetables :)

Slightly Disappointed & Whole-heartedly Encouraged

So I started that new book I had mentioned earlier (I see no reason to mention it by name here, as I am getting ready to run it into the ground). I feel that I gave it it's due time & opportunity to leave a lasting impact. However, I found myself slightly disappointed. It seemed as though chapter after chapter was about saying "no" to everyone & everything, taking time out for yourself, & being in tune with your "needs." And while I appreciate the sentiment & agree that being overcommitted can be detrimental, it just seemed impractical . . . especially for me.

I went out with a friend on Thursday night & bounced some of my feelings & thoughts off of her. Let's face it ~~ I'm currently a seminary wife & soon-to-be pastor's wife . . . life ain't slowing down anytime soon!! So do I sit around lamenting the fact that I have no "ME Time," or am I grateful for the moment's I have (such as now, when my girls are sleeping in a bit) & live the rest of my moments by the grace of God, knowing that this is the life He has called me to?

I'm so sick of hearing about "margin" ~~ the concept that if my responsibilities outweigh my strengths, then I need to eliminate some responsibilities. Hello!! I'm a seminary wife with 2 children under the age of 3!! Of course my responsibilities outweigh my strengths . . . my human strengths, that is. Everyone seems to conveniently forget that God promises, "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. They will run & not grow weary. They will walk & not faint." So maybe instead of spending my free time pursuing a hobby of some sort, perhaps I should spend more of those moments waiting on the Lord, since that is what renews my strength.

Okay, enough of my soapbox. I picked up 2 new books that I've been thoroughly enjoying. As a mom, I can only read schnippets of chapters at a time & in this case, that's a good thing. The author packs so much thought-provoking content in each chapter that I can only handle a schnippet at a time! The books are When I Don't Desire God: How to Fight for Joy & Taste and See: Savoring the Supremacy of God in All of Life ~ both by John Piper.

Anyway, the girls are awake & I'm off to selflessly minister to my children. I'm sleep-deprived & overworked. I guess it's a good thing I don't live by margin, otherwise I'd have to cross them off my list!!! So I guess it's off to real life by the grace of God . . .

Laundry, Doctor's Appointments, & Unexpected Blessings

So it's Laundry Day here at the OK Corral & I thought maybe I should take a few moments to update my faithful readers on some struggles, some blessings, & some overall musings.

I'm doing laundry fast & furiously today because I have somehow gotten behind on it & I swore I would not let that happen. But, low & behold, as I passed each of the 3 laundry baskets this morning, I couldn't help but noticed they were full to overflowing! But not to worry, things are under control & the 4th load is spinning as I type :)

There have been a few rough days this week. We are still feeling the effects of a complete "life overhaul." For example, in my pre-seminary life I used to meal plan & grocery shop for an entire month at a time. I could do that because our schedule was fairly predictable & we have the financial resources for such an excursion. Having such a plan in place allowed me more free time as I was not running to the grocery store on a weekly basis. However, such is not the case anymore. I'm lucky if I know in the morning what we will have for dinner that evening!! Our financial state is such that I find myself at the market at least 3 times a week! At the market 3 times a week with 2 kids who either have to pee or take a nap long before the trip is over.

I am also starting to feel the true tinyness of our home. When everything is cleaned up & in its proper place, our home feels almost spacious (almost). But as soon as something out of the ordinary is added to the mix (like bins of clothes for the cold weather switch or a bag of stuff for Goodwill or even a new toy), the house seems to shrink by leaps & bounds!! I've been meaning to get out some new fall candles that I have packed away, but that would mean attempting to dig out the candle bin from the bottom of our walk-in closet -- the closet that has become the catch-all for everything that doesn't have an assigned spot. No thanks.

Before we left for seminary, I would have considered myself a very organized mom. A place for everything & everything in its place. But our current situation is truly putting my organizational skills to the test. It is a struggle everyday to arrange things so that we are not tripping over each other all day long!

But through it all, we are also experiencing the amazing effects of God working miracles everyday on our behalf. Here's just a small example -- the girls have their health insurance through the state. A woman from the Department of Welfare called me up & told me that I needed to chose a primary care physician. She read off a list of names & asked me to pick one. I had absolutely no information about any of these doctors! I breathed a quick prayer asking God to help me pick the right one. So on Tuesday, we headed off to the mysterious Dr. G.'s office. It turns out that the office is a Christian-run practice & all the doctors are believers!!! I could not have asked for more!

And that's just me. Jason is experiencing his own set of trials. He is feeling very overwhelmed by all the work that is coming up in the next few weeks. Seminary would be a lot easier for him without a wife & 2 kids. But God called us here at this time in our lives for a purpose. We are just trying not to "grow weary in well-doing."

Fall is Here!!!

Enjoy these pics from the Dickinson Girls Annual Pumpkin Carving Extravaganza!!

A New Perspective

Thanks for the advice, girls! As I was baking some apple crisp last night in anticipation of Jason coming home from class & needing a snack, it suddenly dawned on me . . . we've only been in seminary for a month! I'm being much too hard on myself. It's okay if I don't have everything flowing perfectly ~ we'll get there. We'll be back to the well-oiled machine we once were in no time (okay, maybe not well-oiled, but at least functional).

I've been reading Ravi Zacharias' book The Grand Weaver. It's a great book, & I am enjoying it. However, I don't think it's giving me the practical advice that I am in such desperate need of right now. But, as my true friends know, I'm a perfectionist . . . every fiber of my being is saying, "You CAN'T start a new book without finishing the old one first!!!!" However, my common sense is going to win this battle. I just started Breathe: Creating Space for God in a Hectic Life. It was the back of the book that drew me in . . .

"While juggling kids, errands, jobs, relationships, & church activities, many moms don't realize that their value is found not in what they do but in who they are. If this is you, & your energy runs out long before your day comes to an end, then maybe it's time to take a break & breathe."

Hmm . . .

The Bad Mommy Award

So . . . I have officially given up all delusions that I can do it all. And not just that I can do it all (let's face it, I may still have to do it all), but that I can do it all without losing my mind, my marbles, or my temper.

I've been going strong now for weeks since Jason started seminary. There are the usual household responsibilities ~ cleaning, cooking, laundry, grocery shopping, etc. But the over-achiever in me just can't leave well enough alone. I have to research cookbooks in my spare time (ha ha) to fulfill my goal of trying out one new recipe every week. I feel as though it's my personal responsibility to make sure that everyone is not only healthy, but also happy. Then there's taking care of the girls, which all you moms know is a full-time job. But I have decided to go above & beyond that call of duty & homeschool Caleigh for pre-school this year. Which basically means that I spend 3 nights a week making lesson plans (granted, they're not rocket science, but they do require a lot of creativity). Then you add all the miscellaneous activities to the mix ~ family obligations on both sides, worship team practice, nursery duty, Cubbies team color night, Bible study, 2 part-time jobs . . . arghhhhhh!!!

Well, needless to say, last night was the breaking point. We often tease our youngest daughter, Peyton of "hitting the wall" every night. She can be going strong, playing with her sister, happy as a clam . . . then all of the sudden, one thing will not go her way & she instantly melts & life just stinks!! I hit my wall last night. I was having a face-off with Peyton because she wouldn't say "thank you" when I gave her her juice. No thank you . . . no juice. We had been battling it out for a good half hour, which mostly consisted of me muttering under my breath & her sobbing uncontrollably. Since this was the 2nd time we had faced-off over such ridiculousness in the past hour, I had had enough!! I hit my limit, looked at Peyton, & said, "Fine!! Just take it!! I don't care if you never say thank you. Just stop crying!!!!!" That certainly was not one of my finer moments.

Next comes the analysis . . . what can I do/change to safeguard from one of those moments happening again? I'm not really sure. I took the first step & had myself in bed before 9 o'clock last night. I know that everything looks a little bit better after a good night of sleep. However, if sleep could cure everything, I'd never get out of bed!!! I still feel a bit of the leftover frazzled-ness today. Not really sure how to get over that. Any suggestions??