The Bad Mommy Award

So . . . I have officially given up all delusions that I can do it all. And not just that I can do it all (let's face it, I may still have to do it all), but that I can do it all without losing my mind, my marbles, or my temper.

I've been going strong now for weeks since Jason started seminary. There are the usual household responsibilities ~ cleaning, cooking, laundry, grocery shopping, etc. But the over-achiever in me just can't leave well enough alone. I have to research cookbooks in my spare time (ha ha) to fulfill my goal of trying out one new recipe every week. I feel as though it's my personal responsibility to make sure that everyone is not only healthy, but also happy. Then there's taking care of the girls, which all you moms know is a full-time job. But I have decided to go above & beyond that call of duty & homeschool Caleigh for pre-school this year. Which basically means that I spend 3 nights a week making lesson plans (granted, they're not rocket science, but they do require a lot of creativity). Then you add all the miscellaneous activities to the mix ~ family obligations on both sides, worship team practice, nursery duty, Cubbies team color night, Bible study, 2 part-time jobs . . . arghhhhhh!!!

Well, needless to say, last night was the breaking point. We often tease our youngest daughter, Peyton of "hitting the wall" every night. She can be going strong, playing with her sister, happy as a clam . . . then all of the sudden, one thing will not go her way & she instantly melts & life just stinks!! I hit my wall last night. I was having a face-off with Peyton because she wouldn't say "thank you" when I gave her her juice. No thank you . . . no juice. We had been battling it out for a good half hour, which mostly consisted of me muttering under my breath & her sobbing uncontrollably. Since this was the 2nd time we had faced-off over such ridiculousness in the past hour, I had had enough!! I hit my limit, looked at Peyton, & said, "Fine!! Just take it!! I don't care if you never say thank you. Just stop crying!!!!!" That certainly was not one of my finer moments.

Next comes the analysis . . . what can I do/change to safeguard from one of those moments happening again? I'm not really sure. I took the first step & had myself in bed before 9 o'clock last night. I know that everything looks a little bit better after a good night of sleep. However, if sleep could cure everything, I'd never get out of bed!!! I still feel a bit of the leftover frazzled-ness today. Not really sure how to get over that. Any suggestions??