A Lesson Re-Learned

It has come to my attention that there are a few people who read this blog & learn from my mistakes . . . at least in the realm of parenting. Believe me, I fall on my face as often (okay, maybe more often) as I succeed. Well, here is a lesson that I just keep learning over and over and over again.

We have a standard chore chart at our house. A list of responsibilities that the girls are to take care of (with a good attitude) each day. At the end of the day, if everything is done with a good attitude, each girl gets a sticker. Fifteen stickers earns you a reward . . . ice cream, small toy, movie night, etc. And it works GREAT!!! We run like a well-oiled machine.

And then we hit a bump in the road . . .

The whining starts . . . "I'm huuuunnnnggggrrryyy. When's dinner rrreeeaaadddyyy?"
The bossing starts . . . "You're not doing it right. Give it to me. It's MINE!"
The disrespect starts . . . "You forgot my juice!"
The arguing starts . . . "I was there first! Get OFF!!"
The helplessness starts . . . "Mommy, I neeeeeed you. I can't reach it."

What to do? Last night was the third time we have come up against this problem. It's like the children forget all manners, kindness, respect, & helpfulness. Mommy turns into Mean Monster Mommy & everyone spends time on the Naughty Step!! The girls need more than a "check the chore chart" at the end of the day. They need immediate feedback on their behavior. And we need more peace in our home. And it hit me -- Wait! We've been here before! A year or so ago, we used flowers. Several months ago, we used marbles. And as of last night, we use STARS!

The STAR system:

Each girl has 15 construction paper stars. Caleigh's are pink & Peyton's are green (only because I didn't have any purple). If the girls are especially helpful, kind, respectful, good . . . they get to put a star on the fridge. If they are bossy, argumentative, disrespectful, not helpful . . . they take a star off the fridge. Once all 15 stars are earned, they get a sticker. It has been enlightening (and rather satisfying in that MasterMind Mommy sort of way) to see their faces when stars are taken away . . . as though they are shocked that ordering Mommy to get juice is disrespectful & that pulling your sister's hair to get her to move is NOT nice! I have also learned that a system like this is just temporary. It doesn't take them long for them to get with the program & re-train themselves to act like the true princesses they are! Mean Mommy turns back into Patient Mommy & our house becomes our peaceful sanctuary.

So take it for what it's worth. Do with it what you will. I think I need to go give some stars!