Epiphany & Multiplied Diapers

It was the best of weekends. It was the worst of weekends.

The space this blog affords would not lend space enough to even be able to begin to explain the depth of emotion & spiritual stretching we received this weekend. Suffice it to say, Satan has been working overtime on our family. The spark that ignited the wildfire started on Saturday afternoon. Shortly after finishing up a depressing round of bill-paying (or non-paying, as is often the case), a friend called to let us know that he discovered a leak at our house {you know, the house that we no longer live in, but still own & are still paying expenses for . . . yeah, that's the house}.

After being at the house, not being able to fix the leak, & discovering another leak, we staggered into church on Sunday morning feeling spiritually battered & bruised. In the privacy of our own home, we had thrown around words like "abandoned" & "quit." There was nothing left to do, nothing left to say, nothing left to give. We were wounded soldiers.

Sunday's sermon was on cross-bearing.

"Some of you have heavy crosses to bear. You're feeling ABANDONED and you're being asked to TRUST."

Afterwards, we took communion. Now, I don't know what your personal, typical pre-communion moments are like, but mine are usually a good deal of confession, followed by an even greater deal of thanksgiving. But as I stood there, only one thing kept playing in my mind. It was a song that we have been practicing for worship team, called "You Are God Alone." The song talks about how God is God & He doesn't rely on humans for anything & doesn't need anything we can give Him. There is a line from that song that struck a cord with me & I have often thought about & was the only thing I could say to Him.

"You are God. That's just the way it is."

It was my prayer of acceptance. I may not always like it & it doesn't always feel good, but that's just the way it is.

It took about two days to process all our thoughts, feelings, & advice of friends & loved-ones. Finally, over lunch on Tuesday, our epiphany came to light.

Do we belong here at seminary? YES!! Are we exactly where the Lord wants us? YES!! So what's going on? Is this a test from God? A refining process? Or is this the work of Satan? The devil just digging in his fangs? It's both. Satan wants us to fail. The last thing he needs is an on-fire, fully-devoted couple going about doing the Lord's work. Perhaps that's why the house hasn't sold yet. It would be so incredibly easy for us to turn tail & run. After all, we already own a home. Jason's bosses left a wide open invitation to return to work at any time. We could go right back to life as usual & forget this whole ministry thing. But what Satan just can't seem to understand (and you'd think he would get it after thousands of years) is that if he keeps pushing, & pushing, & pushing & we don't fail, then we come out stronger on the other side & God has two more powerful warriors than He had before.

What Satan meant for evil, God meant for good.


So there's the epiphany. Now here's a cool story:

Yesterday we were running low on diapers. And I mean, really low! I mentioned something about it to Jason & that I was planning on heading to Walmart after dinner (if Peyton could last that long). A few minutes later, Jason came down the stairs with a full box of White Cloud size 4 diapers!! Now, those of you who know me, know that I am an organizational freak! All extra diapers are kept in the linen closet, third shelf from the bottom. He found these diapers under the bed!!! Sometimes He multiplies money in your pockets, sometimes He multiplies diapers under the bed!! :)