Winks from Heaven . . .

Have you ever been in the "unique" position of following God so closely that you almost forget who's leading whom? And you just want some confirmation that it's not your imagination, or wishful thinking, or human tinkering that leads you to believe you know where He wants to take you? Such is the boat in which we find ourselves.

For those of you who have been staying up-to-date with the "Great Adventure," you know that we are at a bit of a standstill. Although we've been accepted to the university, there isn't much that can be done until after the first of the year. So we sit . . . and we wait . . . and we pray . . . and we doubt . . . and we pray some more . . . and we look for a sign (where did I put that fleece?). And even though He doesn't have to, He realizes that we are just pitiful humans & He humors us. And here is how He humored us this morning . . .

We're in the market for a laptop. A necessary tool for Jason for school. We have $XXX to spend. So Jason starts surfing the net last night for Black Friday deals. And he comes across 2 great deals at Circuit City: one for a laptop & one for a 1 GB secure disk memory card. For those of you who have ever braved a store of any kind on Black Friday, you know that you need a plan. And sometimes that plan requires you to abandon the nice-but-not-necessary for the JACKPOT. And so, at 1:45 AM, Jason hopped into his car to stand in line with the other not-quite-sane individuals in quest of the desired laptop! Now, loving the hustle & bustle of the holidays as I do, I have been among the hordes lining up outside the stores on Black Friday, but I humbly acknowledge that the world of electronics is a whole new ballgame -- these people are no-holds-barred, hard-core fanatics. And at 2 AM, Jason was at least 85th in line. Not looking good.

At 6:30, I opened my bleary eyes, fully expecting my hubby to be home, elated or devasted. But much to my surprise, he was nowhere to be found. When I called his cell, I discovered the Lord had somehow led him to the correct line & he was 12th in line to get his laptop! Wink. As if that wasn't enough, the gentleman in front of him sent his wife to pick up a secure disk memory card. She came back with 2 -- 1 was 1 GB & the other was 2 GB. The husband wanted the 2 GB & told his wife to put the other one back. She proceeded to turn to Jason & said, "Do you want this?" Wink, wink.

And when all was said & done, Jason spent one penny less than $XXX. Wink, wink, wink.

Thank You. I need to go wring out my fleece.

Happy Birthday to me . . .

Okay . . . I'm ready to admit it. I'm turning thirty. I said I was ready to admit it, I'm just not ready to embrace it! I don't know why this is so difficult. I think that perhaps for the last 10 years, I've been able to say that I'm in my twenties -- but no one needed to know which end of the twenties I was in! But 30 is a whole new ballgame.

However, my dear sweet husband is doing everything he can to help soften the blow. On Saturday night, I was whisked away (in some brand new duds, might I add) to see Cirque du Soleil's Delirium show . . . something I have wanted to see for years!!! It was absolutely incredible! The only bad thing I can find to say about it is that it was too short!! I could have sat there, mesmerized, all night. When the performers took the stage for the grand finale I wasn't ready for it to end. Of course, the uncultured observers in the row behind us were disappointed before the show even began . . . they didn't realize that Cirque du Soleil wasn't your garden-variety circus with clowns & big top animals. {Someone please explain to me why you would spend all that money on tickets & not bother to google the show to see what you're in for?}

Anyway . . . I have a few more days to bask in my twenty-somethingness. The 3rd decade comes with Thanksgiving. Yes, that's right, I was born on Turkey Day . . . gobble, gobble.

And by the way, for those of you who are keeping in step with the "Great Adventure," Jason's officially been accepted to PBU!

Priceless Moments

Another very busy, but very enjoyable weekend. I spent my Friday & Saturday peddling my "Morgan Marie Designs" wares at a craft show . . . pretty productive! And our little family was treated to a "hotel" in the area so we could avoid the almost hour trip home. The only drawback was missing almost 2 full days with my beautiful girls :( I definitely enjoyed the break though. You always need a little space to help you gain perspective on those adorably priceless moments . . . like this morning. I was trying to "sneak" out of our hotel room this morning to pick up some java at Dunkin' Donuts, when Miss Caleigh woke up. With rumpled bed-head, she looked at me through those little slit eyes & said, "Mama, what you doing?" When I told her I was headed out for coffee, she replied, "I come." So off we went. Tousled hair, striped footy pajamas, & adorable half-awake grin. You gotta love it!

And thank you to those family members who have recently offered monthly financial support for our "Great Adventure." Another unforgettable example of God's miraculous provision in our journey.

Another Step of Faith

Well, I'm sure you're all waiting with bated breath to find out how our visit to PBU went yesterday. And I would have blogged about it last night, but we were stuck in the Mother Of All Traffic Jams! It took us 4 hours to go 5 miles . . . yes, you read this correctly . . . 4 hours!!!! And let me tell you, you learn a lot about yourself & the rest of your family when you're stuck in a car, not moving, for that length of time. And . . . I broke the law. I freely admit it. When 5 o'clock rolled around (an hour after Peyton was due to be fed) we just couldn't take the crying anymore! So we got her out of her carseat so she could eat. This, of course, was after I sought my dad's wise counsel on the matter & he assured me that we weren't moving fast enough to have an accident! And then what are you going to do when your 2-year-old (who has been an ANGEL all day long) looks at you with those big blue eyes & says, "My hiney hurts." So Caleigh took a little breather from her carseat as well. Forgive me.

Thursday night, as Jason & I sat down to have a prayer time for our visit to PBU, we both said that we needed to be prepared for Satan to be working overtime to thwart whatever God was planning to do on Friday. And we were right. But although he may be the prince of the power of the air, he is no match for the ALL-POWERFUL CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE!!!! We were able to get both girls out of bed, fed, dressed, & into the car at a reasonable hour. We stopped at Sheetz to gas up, grab a soda, & then headed for the highway. Not 4 miles from home, we got stuck in a traffic jam for an hour!!!! Bumper to bumper (which just makes last night's traffic jam even funnier). So we had to call the school & let them know we would be late . . . very late.

We got to the school & took the tour. We loved the campus ~ library, classrooms, student lounges, everything!! The university has a lot to offer in the way of cutting-edge technology. But it wasn't until our meeting with Financial Aid that things really started to take off. We sat down & crunched the numbers with a financial aid rep & discovered that non-loan money (grants, scholarships, merit awards, etc.) should cover all but $2000 of Jason's tuition!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!! Then we had a delicious lunch at the university cafeteria, then headed off for a meeting with a woman from the Married Student Housing department. Things went well & we were even able to see 2 of the apartments. Granted, they're not the Ritz, but I see a lot of potential.

So what's next & more importantly, how can you pray? We do have a few specific requests: 1) pray that we will be able to pay the rest of Jason's tuition without having to take any loans ~ 2) pray that we will be able to secure an apartment through the university's housing (we are on a waiting list & should know by March if we can claim one of the apartments) ~ 3) pray that we will be able to afford the rent on the apartment (it is VERY expensive, but not as expensive as renting outside the university) ~ 4) pray that God will continue to give us wisdom as we take our next steps in the Great Adventure (filing paperwork, selling our home, finding a new job in the area, etc.).

Okay, so we didn't get home until 9 o'clock . . . our girls were angels & were in bed before 10 despite Satan's best efforts. He's such a sore loser.

Too Cute!!

Well over a month ago, Caleigh & I carved our first pumpkin together. We had a fabulous time!! She got to pick out the expression that our pumpkin would wear & true to her personality, she chose a gigantic smile for our pumpkin. Therefore, whenever we would venture onto the porch, she would exclaim, "Look ~ happy punkum!" As the weeks of this fall season have worn on, our "happy punkum" has rotted . . . & I mean rotted! At first it just looked like an old man who forgot to put in his dentures, but then it really got ugly . . . completely fallen over, moldy, rather frightening. But I just couldn't throw it out. Every time we'd walk out onto the porch, she would greet our "happy punkum."

And then the other day, we headed out onto the porch on our way to the car. I fully expected to hear my 2-year-old's gleeful little voice greeting our orange friend. But instead I heard, "Ohhh, poor punkum!" I guess it's time to throw our friend away.

A Not-So-Random Act of Kindness

The holiday season is right around the corner & like so many of the millions of Americans, I have found myself perusing the endless catalogs that arrive in the mail, trying to find yet another soon-to-be-forgotten toy to charge to my maxed-out credit card!! Not that there is anything wrong with gift-giving . . . it's great!! Who doesn't love to give & receive gifts of love from others?!? But in the midst of the hustle & bustle ~ and nobody loves hustle & bustle more than me . . . except maybe my brother & sister who join me in a shopping frenzy on Christmas Eve (now that's brave, or perhaps crazy) ~ we often get so caught up in the "stuff" (and there's a lot of stuff . . . stockings, gift wrap, trees, lights, fake snow, bells, reindeer, mistletoe, festivities . . .) that we forget that there are so many people in this world who have nothing. While we're moping around over the $200 Dream Bake Kitchen that we can't afford to by our daughters because it's just not in the budget, there are children in other countries who don't have a $2 toothbrush. While we stress about finding the perfect stuffed animal (because the 199 that are sitting in the basket in the playroom just aren't enough), there is a child somewhere who has never seen a stuffed animal, much less touched & cuddled one of their very own.

So, my challenge to you this holiday season is to find a worthy cause . . . and give!! Maybe you can volunteer at your local homeless shelter, or perhaps buy a bag of groceries for a struggling family, or maybe join my family in preparing shoeboxes of goodies for "Operation Christmas Child." Whatever it is, GIVE . . . and give generously. God has blessed us all so richly, let us not forget to lavish His love onto others who are often unloved & forgotten.

**For more information about "Operation Christmas Child" go to www.samaritanspurse.org & click in the link provided.

I'm a little clay pot...

Dust of the earth, mixed with water, fashioned by the Master's skilled hands. That's what we are, clay pots. Some of us are still on the wheel, learning from His hand. Some are in the fire, gaining the strength needed to fulfill our purpose. Some are broken, waiting to be shaped again. Wherever we are, we have a purpose. The Potter does not make useless pieces. He has a design and purpose for each lump of clay.
Back when I was nothing more than a mound of mud, I remember asking the Potter what He was making (Is. 45:9). The blows used to shape me seemed a little extreme. The heat used to fire me seemed a little hot. I quarreled with my Maker, wondering if He knew what He was doing. I trusted His skill but doubted my usefulness.
Looking back, I see that the process was necessary for this treasure-holding jar of clay as it shows the "all surpassing power is from God and not from us" (2 Cor.4:7). He made no mistakes. I did, but He didn't. I was being made into a vessel for the Lord's work (as we all are). The events and the questions in my life are being answered as I see the Lord's purpose in making me. He is calling this pot to full-time ministry. I cannot fulfill the duties of another jar. The Potter has made me for this use.

I am so excited to see what the Lord will do with this family. God has blessed me with victories and failures, pains and pleasures, trials and blessings. All of which have been used to shape me.

Speaking of blessings, I would like to give a public and heart felt "thank you" to the beautiful pot beside me. She has, and will always be, such an encouragement to me. When my eyes of faith dim she lends me hers in order to give me the boost I need to continue on this "Great Adventure." I would not dare venture anything this faith-stretching with anyone else. I love you, Babydoll.

With all that said, I hope this blog will encourage you as you share in our joys and struggles, and I pray it will give you the strength to sit patiently on the wheel, to endure the flame, or to accept the repair.

May these words be a public testimony to the Lord's faithfulness and provision for His precious clay pots!

My Creative Outlet

Stay-at-home moms. The epitome of the under-appreciated. Not to discredit working moms in any way ~ you have your own unique set of struggles too. But I'm not a working mom (at least, not outside the home), I'm a SAHM. Being the primary caregiver for your children is a 24/7, no breaks, no vacations job. I was just reading an article in the paper yesterday about a woman who is suing Walmart for millions of dollars because she had to work through her lunch breaks. You know what I said?? Lunch breaks??? What lunch breaks?? I didn't know my job came with lunch breaks?? You fellow SAHMs know exactly what I mean. The second your hiney hits the chair for a breather (that is, of course, after you've made sure everyone has everything they could possible ever need for the next 10, or maybe just 5, minutes) . . . your oldest drops a toy right on the baby's head . . . the baby starts crying . . . the oldest starts crying right along because she knows she's in trouble . . . you pick up the baby to comfort her, only to discover that sometime in the past 30 seconds, she's messed her pants . . . so, now you're changing a diaper . . . but first, you have to sit the oldest on the naughty step (because you are convinced that you'll ruin her for life if you delay discipline) . . . the baby's still crying . . . your oldest is still crying . . . & now you're crying because it just seems like the right thing to do . . . and your 10 minutes is up!!!!! Can anyone relate?!?

We love our children ~ no doubt about it. And, yes, motherhood is worth every single crying jag, grey hair, & one-way-ticket-to-Tahiti-please day. But there are times when we need an outlet just for us.

Whenever I'm at the end of my rope, a very wise woman (a.k.a. Mimi) reminds me, "That's why I work." And one day, I let her words of wisdom sink in. And the result of that sinking in was Morgan Marie Designs. I started my very own, in-home, custom-created jewelry business. I needed a creative outlet. Something that I enjoyed. Something that still kept my children close (my "office" is in the playroom, what could be closer than that?), & something that would be a tribute to all that my girls have added to my life (Morgan is Caleigh's middle name & Marie is Peyton's middle name . . . hence, Morgan Marie Designs). When I'm overwhelmed & the walls feel like they're closing in on me, I make a concentrated effort to head into my "office" for some "me time."

So what's the point?? Well, fellow SAHMs. Find something just for you. Something YOU enjoy. Maybe it's a good book. Maybe it's a gourmet cup of coffee. Maybe it's a power nap. Okay, you'll have to get creative when it comes to finding those moments to steal away, but do it!! You'll feel like a whole new Mom when you're done!!

And for those days when it's IMPOSSIBLE to find that good book (or maybe your toddler decided to use it as a coloring book) or to brew that cup of coffee or to take that nap (and it happens to the best of us), remember . . . you're the only Mom they've got, so you'd better be a good one! And if that doesn't get you through the day . . . God gives us the grace we need for every day, for every situation, for every child.

The Great Adventure

So what do you do when you're sitting in church, minding your own business, listening to a sermon, & thinking, "This is great, but I wonder how the Lord is going to speak to ME" & here comes the Lord, ready to meet you where you are & change your life forever?

Such a thing happened to me about 2 months ago. Let me begin at the beginning . . .

One Saturday night, Jason & I went out on a date. Over dinner, we were discussing such things as "If you could meet one person, living or dead, who would it be?". Those of you who know Jason, know that his opinion of "fun" is downloading theology programs to listen to on his way to work. You may also know that his deepest heart's desire is to be in full-time ministry. So, munching on our never-ending tortilla chips from Chili's, Jason began to tell me everything he knows about Martin Luther (riveting!). This ushered us into a discussion about theology, Wesley's quadrilateral, & what does our pastor do all week??? So far, nothing out of the ordinary.

The very next morning, we headed off to church. "Open your Bibles to Galatians 1 . . ." and our pastor began to postulate about Martin Luther, Wesley's quadrilateral, & the notebooks of information he pours over all week to prepare for his sermons.

And it began to hit me ~ for a moment I felt an inkling of how Jason must feel to sit & listen to our pastor & know THAT is what he wants to do. And the fire began to stir . . .

I have no idea what our pastor said beyond that. All I know is that God was talking to me. The closing song was "Surrender."

I'm giving You my heart & all that is within

I lay it all down for the sake of You my King

I giving You my dreams, I'm laying down my rights

I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life.

~

I'm singing You this song; I'm waiting at the cross

And all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss

For the sake of knowing You, the glory of Your name

To know the lasting joy, even sharing in Your pain.

~

And I surrender all to You, all to You

And I surrender all to You, all to You

And I stood in our pew & cried. Jason turned to me when the song was over & the only thing I could get out of my mouth was, "You're going to school!"

I always knew Jason wanted to go to school . . . that his desires of full-time Christian ministry would require school, but until that moment, I had no desire to walk that road . . . that very long, hard road.

So here we are. Through much prayer ~ much, much prayer ~ we are planning to sell our home (along with most of our possessions) & attend Philadelphia Biblical University, where Jason will work towards his Pre-seminary degree. We will give up our 4-bedroom home for a 2-bedroom apartment. It will be 4 years of watching God's hand miraculously provide for our every need, because we certainly are not independently wealthy & cannot do this on our own.

Yesterday Jason asked me what I was thinking. Why was I willing to give up all my "stuff" & go on this Great Adventure with him? And I told him that if God called us to PBU & I stayed home, I'd never be happy, even with all my stuff.

So, dear friends & family who are reading this, please send money to . . .

Just Kidding!!!!!

But seriously . . . please pray for us & with us as we embark on the Great Adventure. We have seen roadblock after roadblock knocked down by God's heavenly "bulldozer", but there are many more obstacles still in our path. We go to visit PBU on Friday. Details to follow . . .

Sacred Daylight Savings & My Sacreligious Child

I LOVE changing the clocks!! I remember, pre-children, I lived for "falling back." I would wake up on a frosty October morning & think to myself, "It's probably around eight o'clock. I'd better get up, get moving." And then I would roll over, peek at the alarm clock & realize, much to my delight, that it was only seven o'clock!!!! A whole extra hour of sleep . . . what could be better!!!

Forsooth, that was not the scene this morning. Somewhere around 6:30 am, I awoke to my 2-year-olds rendition of the Veggie Tales theme song. Was it coming over her monitor?? Wow, those monitors have a really clear sound . . . oh, wait . . . no, it's coming from the pillow next to me . . . SHE'S IN MY BED!!! AT 6:30!!!! Where is the reverence??

Clay pots & earthly tents????

Things that make you go . . . hmmm??? Allow me to explain. Life goes by so fast & before you know it, miraculous things have happened to you & you just can't seem to recall any of them, but you know there were there. We thought that perhaps keeping a record of God's hand for all to see would serve as a fresh reminder each & every day of our purpose.

Isaiah 45:9 says, "Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker, to him who is but a CLAY POT among the clay pots on the ground. Does the clay so to the Potter, 'What are you making?'"

Clay pots . . . that have no value until they are used. Clay pots . . . that have no business determining how they ought to be used. Clay pots . . . creations with a purpose.

II Corinthians 5:1 says, "Now we know that if the EARTHLY TENT we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands."

Earthly tents . . . temporary dwellings. Earthly tents . . . temporary pain. Earthy tents . . . temporary sacrifice for an everlasting reward.

So . . . welcome to our blog!! Here we will record the life & times of the Dickinson Family: Jason, Christine, Caleigh, & Peyton. Oh, yeah, our dog Livvy & frequently forgotten fish Spot.